The confluence of music and attraction. This is part 1 of what will probably turn into a three part saga, LOL.

I have to broadcast a warning before anyone reads this. And maybe I am being presumptuous but… if I have dated you, loved you, lusted after you, or had any romantic or semi-romantic relationship with you in any way, shape, or form, I am writing about you somewhere in here. So be prepared. And please, no hate- I have special memories of every single one of you in one way or another. Even if you don’t feel the same way about me 😉

I found a cache of old photos in a tote in my basement the other day when I was scrounging around looking for something else. I had forgotten about them and seeing them, and the people in them, shook me for some reason and brought back a flood of memories. Memories of who I used to be and experiences I had and old wishes, dreams, hopes and, just, well life as a twenty-something in the mid 1980s. I have such fond memories of the people in these photos, relationships that were at one time very close, very intense, very sweet, very fun, and sadly, long gone. I have opined about this previously so I won’t belabor the point, but I miss having friendships like I used to have.

I had forgotten how lovely I was. Not being conceited or fishing for compliments here, honestly. I was just struck by how young I looked. Everyone in the photos was beautiful. Full of life and spark and joy and anticipation. We were plump in all the right ways. Our faces were full of moisture and collagen and vivaciousness. We were bright eyed and eager and excited. Young people had a different look back then. There was a naturalness to our beauty; an authenticity that doesn’t exist today anywhere. No fake eyebrows, no fake nails. People today are used to, and constantly, posing and creating images that may or may not reflect the reality of their lives. In these old pictures there was no pretense, just kids living life in a college dorm, drinking, partying, laughing, smoking joints, goofing around in a way I don’t think young people do today.

This treasure trove of old memories spurred me into action to write about something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Boys. And Music. I have forever been strongly attracted to males who were musically inclined. I still am. I connect every relationship I’ve had with certain musical genres, eras, singers or bands. Music was integral to almost every single important friend, love, longing, lust, or sex connection I’ve ever had. True for everyone? Probably. But I’m going to bare it all here, so this might be the place for you to stop reading if you don’t want to know some of the more intimate details between me and……music.

PART 1

OLIVER! And classic rock + New Wave(?)

I’ve mentioned this particular person in a previous post, he made such an impression on me that I still remember the first time I ever saw him. I was 7 years old I think when my mom took me to see the local high school production of Oliver! . The high school I attended had, and still has a reputation for performing absolutely phenomenal musicals, a tradition going back more than fifty years. This particular young fellow who captured me played the part of the Artful Dodger. I. Was. Lovestruck. The blonde pageboy hair, the voice. I might have only been seven, but I knew charisma when I witnessed it. And did he have it! When I was older, D was in a few local bands that played various parties and venues around town- back when local kids had local bands play gigs at their parties. He eventually formed a band that put out an album and had some modest regional success. He continued to play music for the rest of his life. I hope he is resting in peace. He was my first music crush.

The in-between years, elementary and middle school were made up of adoring performers like Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, Shaun Cassidy, Rex Smith, Andy Gibb, Leif Garrett and other boy-toys featured in Tiger Beat and 16 Magazine. When middle school happened, real boys happened. They happened to me hard. I was totally and utterly boy crazy. One of the middle school boys that I was infatuated with I was infatuated with for a very long time. I mean like decades long. And we were friends. In the weird way you are friends with someone whom you adored for years, someone you made out with, someone who dated one of your friends, and someone you slept with once. I was desperately in love/lust/like with him. Raise your hand if you had one of these in your life at some point. ANYWAY, back to the theme here, and that is music. This gorgeous young fellow had musical taste that totally turned me on. And he would lend me records- the one I remember most is a Jethro Tullalbum. Maybe a Kings album too? He introduced me to U2- October, Boy andWar. To this day I cannot listen to U2 without thinking of him. I had an intense love affair with U2 in the 80s and 90s. This hard crush had a Bono-esque air to him; dark hair, Irish skin, tall and slim. He wore a lot of black and on occasion, black eyeliner. He was a runner on the track and cross-country teams. He was gorgeous and had many, many other female admirers. I so wanted to be his girlfriend. A friend of mine was his girlfriend. And another girl everyone wanted to be their girlfriend was his girlfriend. And through a series of girlfriends I was his… I don’t know, I guess friend? I quietly smoldered with jealousy for a long time. But I guess the universe has a way of making decisions for you that you are not capable of making yourself. An actual relationship was never to be. Of course he was in a bunch of bands when we were in high school so I was even more infatuated with him than I had been when we were in middle school. In a fun twist, he was in the same semi-almost-famous band as my very first music crush. Interesting how life and people intersect.

The Beatles, The Kinks, The Who…..

Another musically inclined boy with whom I was entangled in high school was also a guitarist and a singer in several garage bands made up of friends from our group. They also played school dances, the Farm Festival, the Hub which was the teen center downtown. They were masters- we thought anyway- of The Kinks, The Who and the like. This was an era in which my friends and I very much disdained anything disco-ish, or hair band-ish or heavy metal-ish in favor of those deemed – in our youthful ignorance- superior. And by superior we meant mostly British Invasion bands. So I gave this fellow by once beloved copy of Saturday Night Fever (I could kick myself now I wish I still had that album) so he could smash is at a sign that our music taste was way beyond that fluff. Of course I had no idea how truly great the Bee Gees really were at the time, as well as the other artists on that soundtrack. I mean Tavares and Yvonne Elliman, right? DUMB! We went together with a bunch of other friends to see Buster Poindexter, The Clash and The Who in September 1982 at Rich Stadium. This fellow also played the part of Conrad in Bye Bye Birdie our senior year of high school. Again- boys in musicals have always done something to me.  The Beatles, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, The Troggs, and We Love You Conrad all remind me of him.

My high school love life, or really lack thereof, was mostly made up of various states of interest in these two guys. There were a few other fellows I fancied but those with rhythm and groove were really more my type. 

There were other guy friends in our group who were musically talented- all together in different iterations of bands- drummers, bass players, guitar players and singers. And they were all adorable too. We sort of all commingled together, hanging out, partying, making out, driving around, generally flirting. Good times.

I absolutely cannot listen to Madonna without being reminded of my senior year situationship. Borderline.  Borderline.  Borderline. This song. That person. 1984. It makes me laugh to think how young and totally inept I was at any kind of boy/girl relationship. What a dipshit I was. Anyway…. he was very sweet to me. He tried to get me to appreciate ZZ Top but wasn’t successful. FYI- I completely appreciate ZZ Top today. He had a cool car, chill vibe and 

Madonna. More good times.

Images of me in two of my boy/music crazy crush years.